Now for something completly different: Looking on locking a lock

I wrote this the other day in my diary so I don’t forget to post it, I was waiting for awful 7 hours for my bus to come, so here’s what I wrote:

Well, sitting here in this cafe, I’ve still an hour or two to kill, so why not come up with an entertaining story about the australian way of locking a door.

I guess everybody knows the electronic remote car doorlocks, right? Press the button, doors are closed. I think, that’s the greatest effort one should have to use in order to lock a door. Well, not everything can be as easy as that and it’s probably not a good idea to have everything locked up with a remote control. So there was the key-invention: One sticks a little piece of metal in the lock, turns it around – close or open the door is. And it’s even easy to figure out how to lock the door: In Germany, Europe, probably the whole world, they agreed on a turning direction of they key sticking in the lock: turn the key in the direction where the lockbolt SHOULD go and the door is locked. Try it, I bet it works. Probably not with cars, but they have remote controls, otherwise they work as described, they are weird or they don’t work at all. One of the above. Well, that’s a „should be“. In Australia, everything’s a little  bit different. When the consortium met to set the turning direction of proper door locks, Australia was clearly left out, probably nobody thought about this small island and about its poor inhabitants, or somebody deliberatly didn’t invite them. Anyways, the thing is, here every doorlock has its unique closing direction: One is turned clockwise, the other one counterclockwise and on the third one, one just presses a button to lock the door. I bet there are locks where you have to pull something so that the door locks itself. This australian doorlocks, they function somehow but with no reasonable pattern. It’s just luck if you can close the lock or not. But I developed a trick to get this doorlocks to work: With a very comlex formula I figure out how the lock thinks and what it might want to do to confuse me, and then I just turn them in a direction the lock never thought of I would think of thus confusing it and thus having the lock lock. The bad thing is, that I now have to think of the inverse confusion in order to re-confuse the lock thus maing it open up again. But as time goes by, I got pretty good at it, being able to lock everything up – even in Australia…


2 Kommentare

Eingeordnet unter Australien

2 Antworten zu “Now for something completly different: Looking on locking a lock

  1. Nils

    Huhu Paul :)

    I have to write something to that cause that is so true!!
    It’s unbelievable how Aussies can confuse someone with such simple things like a door lock.
    I found it hard myself to figure out how to get it work :( *confuzzled*
    I managed to get it locked by simply kinda talking to it in a very deep sleepy voice to make it move really slowly so it wont suddenly snap into the other direction. Then while it was all sleepy i just asked if it has a button to push, a thingy to switch or just another trick to close it.. normally it will tell u but then u need to be quick cause it suddenly might remember that u fooled it and wont move at all!!
    U should try that as well I found it really helpful to be honest..

    Btw I’m proud that u r able to get everything locked even though its not ur car, house, door, BBQ, plant, drive way, road, bed, cupboard, didgeridoo, bottle etc. etc. hope nobody notices ;)

    hehe bye for now.. *waving*

    greets Nils

  2. Onkel Markus

    lebt denn der alte Pau-le-mann noch,
    Pau-le-mann noch,
    Pau-le-mann noch,
    lebt denn der alte Pau-le-mann noch,
    Pau-le-mann noch,

    [ ] ja
    [ ] nein
    [ ] vielleicht

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